FAILURES

 During an interview two candidates were individually asked that what was the biggest failure in their life so far. While one of them told about what acts of commission or omission were his failures, the other simply refused to consider anything as a failure and said that he prefers to call them experiences. 

If one tries to judge both, three different kinds of observations can be drawn about the two candidates. Firstly, one may find the former candidate as a bit negative while the later one as having more positive mindset. Secondly, one may say that the first candidate is more practical to accept his failures while the second one reflects a sense of infallibility. Lastly, a more nuanced approach would be to say that the very idea of failure is different for different people and hence no universal idea should be drawn. But all in all, it do raises the pertinent question of what failure actually is, so let us try to answer that.

If we want to reflect on the meta narrative of failure then it simply is the inability to achieve what one desires and dreams for in any walk of life. Today, why this debate of success and failure rages so much is for the sole reason that the world has gone digital not just in technology but in real life as well. Just like there is a binary of 0 or 1 in digital world, unfortunately the same binary is very much obvious in daily life in form of failure (0) or success (1). We often say that between the binaries of black and white there is alot of grey zone but quite frankly that simply doesn't exist when it comes to your tag as a successful person or a failure. You never here people saying that someone is partially successful, it doesn't just sound strange but is quite rare. 

So, what makes failure so painful and someone almost untouchable if he is a failure. It is a sad reality today but I guess, we stopped respecting people for who they are, rather it is more about what they are. We don't respect people, we respect posts, positions and achievements. Doesn't it happen very often that once you meet someone for the first time, one of the very first questions that is asked is what do you do. The simpler it sounds, the tougher it is to answer for someone who may not have much to say. Why such question is asked in the first place. Well, I would say, it is to decide how much attention should be paid to your ideas and views. I may sound here like the fox and the sour grapes story but unfortunately that is the sad reality. One often hear the terms like Topper's Talk or sessions like Success Mantra but we rarely or should I say never hear something like Failure's Talk. I have my own personal experience in this regard, something I plan to share at opportune time, till then it stays with me.

However I would like to add here that it is not as if the world is hell bent on making you feel like a failure. But very often, we too make us feel like that, sometimes because of our negative mindset and mostly because of compulsions. In my opinion, failures never hurt, it's the people we fail that does. During my college days, I failed nearly a dozen times and every time I failed I cried like a child, not because I failed but because of the people I failed. 

So, if failure is such a bad thing then should we give up trying for the people and things we deeply care about. Then, I would say it will lead to regret. And in my opinion the worst thing to do in life is to end up regretting. It is much easier to live with failures than with regrets, because failures are short lived while regrets are long lasting. Neither would I give here the examples of Edison failing 1200 times before succeeding in making electric bulb nor of Dr. Kalam failing in his endeavour. They are not ordinary men but one among some billions. Yes, but would certainly suggest to take inspiration from them. For common folks battling it out in everyday life either in personal or professional or in academics, I would say it's okay to fail but do not fail because of the same reason again and again. It simply means you are not learning. Do not let your failures define you, it doesn't just pins you down but also makes you avoidable and socially unacceptable because you allow it to control all aspects of your life from speech to action and from behaviour to interaction. This is just straight out of my own experience and I don't blame those at all who may have avoided me occasionally, may be I deserved to be. It's undeniable that failures hurt and if you feel like crying, find people who are serious not those who are just curious. Always remember one thing that success shines you brighter than you really are and failure makes you dull than you actually are. So, don't take failure as fait accompli.

I would also add to it that it's good to be a failure in what you love than a success in what you don't. So, if you really deeply desire something or someone, it's worth failing as long as it doesn't become a drag on your life. Always remember that failures do bring some sort of solitariness and yet if you can find someone who likes you, hold on to them because you know they like you for who you are not what you are. Failures are the true guide because they will accompany you as long as you keep making mistakes afterall they are the cumulative outcome of the mistakes we make. So, rather than feeling embarrassed of it, one should embrace it. And for those successful out their, I have huge respect and regards for your hardwork, perseverance and achievements but make sure that you climb so high not to show the world but to see the world. I would urge to not just listen to the successful who knows what to do but also to failures who knows what not to do. And I would say today, later is more important to know than the former. 

At last, I would say that don't judge someone's greatness by how high he climbs but how high he bounces back when he hits the bottom. Make sure that failure doesn't reach your heart and success doesn't reach your mind. Afterall failure is just another side of the coin called life.